As a blogger it’s common knowledge that when we dine out the first thing we pick up isn’t our knife and fork, it’s our iPhone. That eating out with another blogger holds a sense of relief because you reach for your *insert model of mobile phone here* at exactly the same time. Or that dining out with friends or a loved one brings a sense of nervousness because you don’t know how far into the meal you have until the dreaded timer goes off and your significant other will say “have you finished yet?”
The thought of an off switch frightens me; my boyfriend Jon and I have desperately tried to implement rules at night time so that at “9pm work stops, 10pm mobile phones go down”. But if you’re a blogger, vlogger or social influencer, you’ll know that sticking to those kind of rules creates more anxiety than it does relief. It was just the same when I was shooting food for a living, but now I have added the role of ‘blogger’ to my repertoire it just seems to have stepped up a notch.
If something comes onto our radar at bedtime, why is it as important as say an email coming through at 9:33am? Is it really that we have to deal with it at that very second, or is it just an addiction? Or a fear that something we’ve worked so hard to build up could come crashing down within a matter of hours. I like to think it’s the latter, but as of late I’m not so sure.
Last night Jon & I were kindly invited down to eat at the new Cosmo restaurant on Deansgate, and thats where this whole notion got me thinking, “where’s the line?” Don’t get me wrong, Jon is so understanding. If we go anywhere, and it’s for work, he just totally gets it, lets me do my own thing, and then we enjoy our lovely meal (like we did last night). But I often leave a meal with Jon with a sense of guilt if I’ve been working on my phone; “have I neglected him?” – “does he feel like an after thought?” – “does he really know how grateful I am that he came with me tonight?”. More often than not, these fears are completley self-inflicted, and if I ever were to communicate how I feel, I know he would only ever receive me with reassurance.
Images from our dinner at Cosmo Deansgate (replaced the old Red Hot World Buffet) last night – 13/01/18
First world problems, right? I know, I can hear these words ringing in my ears as I write this piece. Don’t mistake what I am saying, I am extremely grateful for every single opportunity that I am given as a blogger & creative in Manchester. It’s just last night’s ‘date night’ meal got me thinking is all this social media engagement stopping me from engaging with my own boyfriend on a night out? I want to remain present to my audience, but I also want to be in the moment with him.
I’m not going to stop inviting Jon with me to lovely experiences, as I want him there with me by my side. However I think implementing rules and boundaries isn’t such a bad idea either. Take all your snaps for social media, but then put the phone down and upload them later or the next morning, and just enjoy being with someone, and not a keypad. Write a list before 9pm of everything that needs to be done tomorrow, and then put your phone on Do Not Disturb or silent. I think Jon and I are going to start having a phone-less date night once a month – where we both leave our phones at home and just be with each other, because that moment is just for us, I don’t need to share that with anyone else but him.
Do you struggle to switch off?
What tactics do you have to power-down at the end of a long day?
Do you have a set of rules with your own significant other?
I’d love to know! Let me know in the comments below.